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It's alright, cuz there's beauty in the breakdown...
I'd never lie to you.
Unless I had to, I'll do what I got to.
Unless I have to, I'll do what I got to.

The truth, is you could slit my throat,
and with my one last gasping breath,
I'd apologize, for bleeding on your shirt,,,//
Is there anything...
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Apr. 26th, 2005 @ 08:05 am Difficulties in the Airwaves...
Voltage: Mixed.
Tunes: Bright Eyes : First Day of My Life
Today marks the one year of Neon's passing...

As I'm sure you realize, this is not an easy day for me.
I'm doing my best. I'm trying to accept it.

Neon{Dena}Angelina Frost.
11/12/87 - 4/26/04

Thank you for everything.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 25th, 2005 @ 08:55 am I found a liquid cure...
Voltage: In love.
Tunes: Bright Eyes : Land Locked Blues
>>YOU WANTED AN UPDATE? OKAY. HERES A BIG ONE.<<

I’ve been on such an insane roller coaster ride of late. Just look at my last few entries. If you’ve talked to me, look how quickly I go from happy to sad and then back again.

My emotions are absolutely on rampage. It’s all because of someone though. It’s all because of the way that someone has been towards me and treating me. I am absolutely in love. I’m sure some of you have a comment about that. I don’t care. I’m in love. That’s been the fact for quite some time. But something has been so twisted in my stomach it’s made it difficult.

I’m figuring myself out is what I’m doing. Although I think in all reality I’m just going mad. I wrote in my notebook last night. I read it a little later and I hardly even comprehend it. I don’t know what the hell I was talking about. Right now my stomach is upside down and being repetitively kicked.

I have a plan for my future. I know what it is I want to do. At this point, I just hope it works. I just need things to go back to the way they were before. Exactly how they were. Not everything mind you. Just that one thing. I know what I mean and so do they, so what do you care?

I’m a really screwed up kid, you know that? I mean, I do love me the way I am. I’m just saying. I’ve been through too much.

I want to go home now. My yellow bird needs to rescue me,,,//

<3
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 23rd, 2005 @ 01:41 am Yellow Bird
Voltage: Perfect. Somehow.
Tunes: Bright Eyes : Poison Oak

Poison Oak. Some boyhood, bravery.
When a telephone, was a tin-can, on a string.
And I fell asleep, with you still talking to me.
You said you were afraid to die...

In, polaroids, you were dressed in, womens clothes.
Were you, made ashamed, why'd you lock them, in a drawer?

Well I don't think, that I, ever loved you more,
than when you turned away,
when you slammed the door,
when you stole the car, and drove towards Mexico,
and you wrote bad checks, just to fill your arm.
I was young enough, I still believed in war...

Well, let the poets cry themselves to sleep...
And all their, tearful words, will yurn back, into steam...

But me a single cell, on a serpents tongue.
There's a muddy feild, where a garden was.
And I'm glad you got away, but I'm still, stuck out here.
My clothes are soaking wet, from your brothers tears...

And I, never thought, this life would be possible...
You're the yellow bird, that I've waiting for...

The end of paralysis, I was a stauttuete.

Now I'm drunk as hell, on a piano bench.
And when I press the kayes, it all gets reversed.
The sound of loneliness, makes me happier...



<3

I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 19th, 2005 @ 05:56 pm I've got a story...
Voltage: Layed out on the floor...
Tunes: Jimmy Eat World : The World You Love
"I've got a story it's almost finished.
Now all I need is someone to tell it to.
Maybe that's you..."

I'm not survivng the day. I'm just not.

Everything is falling apart, and all I can do is watch. Alone.

Because I've been absolutely abbandoned.
It's my fault though. It really is.
For being so FUCKING co-dependent.
What's sad is anyone who will help can't.
And anyone who won't help could.

There's one person who I though above all else would understand.
Who would help me.
And save me.
Instead they abbandoned me the fastest.
And it's still my fault.

I'm done bitching. I really am.
You really should tell me what you really think of me.

I don't think I'm going anywhere beyond this.
I really don't

</3 ps; this CD amazes me. especially this song.
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 16th, 2005 @ 04:02 pm Sick.
Voltage: Save me.
Tunes: Head Automatica : Beating Hearts Baby

Today has not been a good day.

I look like a pudgy seagul.

 

Eww.

I'm lonely.

I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 15th, 2005 @ 12:33 pm Choices I make.
Voltage: I'm still sick.
I've decided WhoreSpace is better for talking to people. But DAMN it's a shity blog and such and so forth. About ALL it's good for is talking to people.
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 12th, 2005 @ 12:46 am Here,,,//
Voltage: <3
Allow me to be cliche for a moment.
Frankly. Dashboard Confessional can do the soundtrack for my whole life.

"i am in love with you "



Goodnight. <3

I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 11th, 2005 @ 02:45 pm Smiles Are Pretty...
Voltage: Lonely as hell.
Tunes: The Hurt Process : Last Goodbye
...but you only get one or two.

So. I'm exauhsted. The last week has been draining. And I can't stop and rest. I have to be finished with all of my school work and graduated by April 28th.

I just got done talking to Jake from Ivy's Reach, and I'm 99% sure they'll play the show I'm booking in July. I'm also reallly hopeing that whatever band I've got going by then is ready. Glamour In July, I believe will play as long as they're ready. And I know Andrew wants them to play in July anyhow. I also want Flee the Seen, and I'm pretty damn sure they'll play if I just talk to Aaron. I still need to find out how to get ahold of Sammy from A Silent Aproach. I love those guys.
Side Note: I believe the show I'm booking will be on the 22 or 23. Primarily because I'm booking this show for my birthday, which is the 21st.

I'm hopeing we can get a lot of people in there. My goal, is to make GroundWorks hit max. capacity that night.

<3
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 9th, 2005 @ 02:09 pm I've wanted to tell you...
Voltage: Ouch...
Tunes: The Hurt Process : Tuesday
So. Battle of the bands=dissapointment. The Fall of Athens lost. And shouldn't have. They lost to some band called Vermillion Sky. Best never ending Atreyu rip off ever. *rolls eyes* And we're "pretty sure" they only won because they brought so many friends.
The Fall of Athens is amazing.

I'm booking a show sometime in late July.
These are the possible bands I have lined up at the moment:
Flee the Seen
A Silent Aproach
Ivy's Reach
Glamour In July

I'm not sure yet.

I've got the start of a band going. And of course I'll call up Em to see if she'll take guitar spot. Any one know a decent drummer who might be interested? I think we're going for a screamo kind of sound.

"im hurting. you hurt me.
im sore. i got my face smashed.
im sick. i have a hunger."

That's about how I feel after last night. Slam dancing is so stupid.
But it's so god damn much fun.

<3
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 8th, 2005 @ 06:51 am I wanna fall in for tonight...
Voltage: Nostalgic. Cuz I can be.
Tunes: Jimmy Eat World : A Praise Chorus
Hey whores. I'm sitting in my school, and yeah I'll get some work done today. Right now I'm too tired though. Gotta wake up first. I'm still not sure exactly what's up for tonight. I'm pretty sure Keith is coming over for a little while at least. He's my hooker. There's a possibility I will go to The Fall of Athens show at GW tonight. Depends on what SOME people are doing.

I was kinda sick the whole day yesterday. It sucked. A lot. Actually, I still feel a little sick today.

You had all better pray that I make it to Eisley next Thursday. If I don't...run for your lives. The most important shows after that are Tegan&Sara(which I'm okay as long as I just get to see T actually) and Rilo Kiley. Pray for your souls if I miss that too.

I need to buy a new phone. Both of mine are crapping out bad, and with some people my cord phone doesnt even work. And my cordless holds a charge for about four hours max now. So I'm thinkin I'll buy a new cordless. And then use my current cordless for backup.

Like you care.

In the words of Atreyu...

Fuck off. Goodbye,,,//
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 6th, 2005 @ 06:55 pm Shows Shows Shows
Voltage: Lonely...
Tunes: Emery : As Your Voice Fades
Hung out with "Mom" and some other people the other night for her 18th birthday.

This took place.

Shaun passes around Mt. Dew to everyone.

Shaun : Do the Dew.

I open the can and slam it. Then hand Shaun the empty can.

Shaun : Damn. Do it again.

He hands me another.

Shaun : Watch this kid everyone.

I slam down the second can. And set it empty on the table.

Me : Keith. You might wanna hand me that trashcan.

Rachel : Upstairs. First door on the right.

I went upstairs and insta-puked. It was awesxome. It wasn't even puke.
It was just Mt.Dew and stomach acid. It was the sexiest puke EVER.



Check this out. I need rides to these and such.

April 14th
New Found Glory / Reggie & the Full Effect / Eisley @ Beaumont Club :: 7:30p, all ages, $17.50

April 28th
Bright Eyes / The Faint @ Uptown Theater :: 8p, all ages, $23

May 10th
I don't need a ride to this. And I don't have to get a ticket.
Tegan and Sara play as well, and I'll be able to spend time with them finally. Im excited.
The Killers @ Uptown Theater :: 9p, all ages, $22

May 11th
Rilo Kiley @ The Granada :: 9p, all ages, $10

May 14th
I already go to this. Sam is taking me.
Green Day @ Municipal Auditorium :: 8p, all ages, $36

And I found out by Jett. All American Rejects May 17th. $12.
Hopefully I can go.



</3
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 5th, 2005 @ 03:39 pm You said "I don't wanna work it out..."
Voltage: Or maybe not,,,//
Tunes: Open Hand : Time to Talk
This bull shit is happening again. The EXACT same thing that happened yesterday.

Icanthandleit.

I'm going over the edge. I don't think I'll make it.

</3 "Anything for you...is what you told me..."
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 5th, 2005 @ 02:13 pm Oh My God.
Voltage: It's gonna be okay,,,//
Tunes: Rilo Kiley : More Adventurous
Cody got a JOB!!!

xX Im a Lush Xx: did you get a job?
Cody: yup

*gasp*

<3

::EDIT::

I can't believe I've known Cody for almost four and a half years.
And he's been one of my best friends ever since.
And to think I've known Carol for almost three and a half years.
That never really crossed my mind.
I miss her living in Kansas.
I can't believe the things that are happening.
Cody just turned 20.
I'm only a few months away from turning 18.
I just don't know exactly where everythng will go from here...
but I hope I make it.
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 4th, 2005 @ 06:49 pm Am I loud and clear?
Voltage: Am I just bad luck?
Tunes: Rise Against : Swing Life Away
I'm so sick of all the liars. I'm so sick and tired. Sick and tired. I just need people here. Someone...please save me.

"I'll show you mine. If you show me yours first.
Let's compare scars...I'll tell you whose...is worse."

Today I cry. </3
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 3rd, 2005 @ 12:53 pm Purplefied!!!
Voltage: I dyed my hair good, yes I did
Tunes: AFI : Silver and Cold

I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 2nd, 2005 @ 12:45 am You'd really like to avoid the issues!!!

 

-Comment to be added,,,//-      <3

I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Apr. 1st, 2005 @ 02:22 pm New Layout,,,//
Voltage: I've been alone all day...
Tunes: Dashboard Confessional : Am I Missing
Because I own this.

<3

I need a ride to Eisley on the 14th OR Bright Eyes on the 28th.

Whoever does it, I will love you forever.

I feel gross. I'm gonna take a shower soon.
No plans tonight. I think I'll be talking to someone anyway. :d
We still need to watch "Girl, Interrupted" together.

You know what song is BEAUTIFUL? And you should go download it or something.
Brightly Wound, by Eisley.

I think I'm purple-izing my hair Sunday morning.

Like the new layout?

<3

>>EDIT<<

I was so stuck on the things I hate about spring and summer. The heat and such, I had forgotten the beautiful things.

The feel of warm cement under bare feet.

Swimming.

The evening breeze.

Fireworks.

Endless days.

Parties.

It made me sad when I realized all of this. Because there's something else I realized. This is it. This is my last summer. In July I'll be 18. And I'm moving. And I'll have to have a job. It will be time for the grown up world. And that's it. Summer, as I've known it for 17 years, will be gone,,,//

</3
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Mar. 30th, 2005 @ 10:48 pm Soundtrack To My Life. Like You Care...
Voltage: I want...to feel better.
Tunes: The Killers : Mr.Brightside
The Soundtrack to Your Life Survey

Make a soundtrack for your life, matching songs with the following:

Opening song: Eisley : Brightly Wound

Waking up: Dashboard Confessional : Am I Missing

First date: Eisley : Telescope Eyes

First kiss: Finch : What It Is To Burn

Falling in love: Brand New : I believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't

Seeing an old love: The Eartly November : I Want To Hear You Sad

Heartbreak: Something Corporate : Walking By

Driving fast: Jimmy Eat World : A Praise Chorus

Getting ready to go out: The Used : Listening

Partying with friends: Story Of The Year : And The Hero Will Drown

Dancing at a club: No. Dancing at a SHOW - Motion City Soundtrack : Modern Chemistry

Flirting: Rilo Kiley : Portions For Foxes

Feeling sexy: Taking Back Sunday : You're So Last Summer

Walking alone in the rain: Bright Eyes : Lua

Missing someone: Tegan & Sara : Welcome Home

Playing in the ocean: Brand New : Seventy Times 7

Summer vacation: Taking Back Sunday : One Eighty By Summer

Fighting with someone: Otep : T.R.I.C.

Acting goofy with friends: The Ataris : In This Diary

Thinking back: Emery : As Your Voice Fades

Feeling depressed: Emery : Disguising Mistakes With Goodbyes

Christmas time: Daphne Loves Derby : Christmas Lights

Falling asleep: codie. : Stuck

Closing song: Frou Frou : Let Go


Take The Soundtrack to Your Life Survey

Get more cool things for your blog at Blogthings
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Mar. 30th, 2005 @ 06:02 pm What a day.
Voltage: Im okay I guess...
Tunes: Eisley : Telescope Eyes
I woke up feeling shitty, because, whether I am a boy or not, I swear I'm PMSing.
Then I dealt with someone who pissed me off.
Then I talked to Tegan. She made me smile lots, and I talked to Sara a little bit too.
I can't wait till they're here in May and I get to hang out with them. *bounce*
Then I got frustrated with someone.
Then my happy high from talking to T went away.
Then I got frustrated with dA.
Then I got less frustrated with someone.
Now I'm bored.
And PMSing.
The end.
<3
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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Mar. 29th, 2005 @ 10:27 am Hey shut up...Hey shut up...
Voltage: Numb and sick.
Tunes: The Killers : Mr.Brightside
I'm bored. I hate school. I do. But I have to get this shit done this year and graduate, or I'll never get it done. You know what? None of you really care do you? lol. Hey. Go buy The Killers and Tegan and Sara and buy the Garden State soundtrack. Those are the only things I've been listening to lately really. I heart them. Ghh...I need like $25. Now. So I can get my ticket to Bright Eyes the 28th. Know what though? I don't even have a ride yet. :d If anyone could possibly help me out with that let me know. I know at least a few of you are going. I'm really f-ing hungry. And it's at leat a good four hours or so before I'm home. Grrrrr... FOOD! My tummy hurts. :( And my migrane is back...again. :( </3>>>>(p.s. its stupid shit. and anyone who uses this generator is a stupid ass hole with no life. and yes, im aare im including myself)>>>>

I feel like I'm so lethargic! it's so not fair that I have this morning off but nobody wants to do anything :-(. I'll just sit home alone and cry.

What sucks is that [info]sha_sha_sharpie told me that [info]a_dark_park told [info]imsooonotcool and [info]dance__macabre that I got caught talking to [info]moth_like and talking crap about [info]falling_flying. Whatever! If I get my hands on them there's paybacks!

Hey and know what? someone at work found out I was into anime and I think that's why I got fired :-(.

This entry automatically generated by the LJ Drama Generator!
I Shall Never Grow Up,,,//
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